Scope this Tone!

Quick and the Dead - Vietnam edition

Quick, describe Disneyland before he dies.

SIT DOWN AND EAT, YOU ANIMALS!!!

Long before it meant Crab Legs and thousands of food choices, the Buffet was something different.
Lets take a look.

Strip Mall gems.

So I was driving past this



and found some hidden VHS gems in the "DVD's For Everyone" shop.



I know....

...Holy Shit! Slashdance!

Women: Whats Not To Get?

Mega-Teen-Buzz-Addicted-Monsters On The Edge

"You've never heard a collection like this"


...well you have. But you've never been this bored to put them all on 2 Cd's.
And remember kids it's not available in stores.

But you'll get hits like



order now and receive



But wait there's more



Order NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

The Worlds Oldest Lie or Jean: The Whore of Inglewood

It just goes to show you, You might as well have loose lips 'cause he's gonna say you blew him anyway.

It's a Mall, Mall, World....

I've spent most of my life working in a mall.
Black Fridays, Back to School, Door buster savings....

Well lets sit back and watch it all crumble down.
Honestly it's a bit haunting.

But first some hope.



now abandon all that..

Pickles, Pickles, Pickles.

Lets talk pickles.

Young Love Denny Style.

Ok kids, say hello to Mr. Martin Denny.

Andy, you GOONIE!!!

10 Minutes of repetitious C64 "Goonies" game play and Cindy Lauper music.
or just say "Fuck It" and watch the original.

On Vacation To Weiner Heaven!

So I'm heading out to a place I've never been.
CHICAGO

Being from NY, I'm not even going to touch the whole pizza debate.
Instead my trip will center around a visit to this place.

The Greatest Mystery Of All Time

This is the kind of question that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Trans Crappy Express....

There's something to be said for Giorgio Moroder style electro meeting crappy rubber alien.

.........I'm just not sure what.

Touching, It's A Blast.

Mind that cap.

To Outer Space...and Beyond.

The Midweek Movie: The Terror

In the days before Oprah and constant news.
You could come home after school and watch "The Afternoon Movie"
A few times a year the would run a horror week.
Here's one of my favorites.

Family Night Soundtrack I

All my love to Enid for this "Family Night" soundtrack staple.
For the rest of you ...
Welcome to the world of "Sukia"

Attack of the B-Movie "Montage" lyrics II -Corey Haim Memorial Edition

From 1990's Prayer of the Rollerboys.



Blown Away - King Swamp

Well I told you when it started,
I would never be betrayed,
Words are cheap to the cold hearted,
Still there's a price you have to pay.

AND IT'S ALL OVER NOW,
YES IT'S ALL OVER,
LOVE LIKE FLESH AND BLOOD
SOON TURNED TO DUST AND
BLOWN AWAY.

There have been so many changes,
Good and bad, they fade away,
Burn the pictures, shred the pages,
I never cared much anyway.

AND IT'S ALL OVER NOW,
YES IT'S ALL OVER,
LOVE LIKE FLESH AND BLOOD
SOON TURNED TO DUST AND
BLOWN AWAY.

Kiss me Judas, I'll see you later,
I'll be waiting down by the gate,
Torn and crying in the bushes,
Far from the path you sure have strayed.

AND IT'S ALL OVER NOW,
YES IT'S ALL OVER,
LOVE LIKE FLESH AND BLOOD
SOON TURNED TO DUST AND
BLOWN AWAY

Radios suck...Wear a sweater.

Father of the year!

The End Is................PAST?

Forget 2012...

....1994 is when the shit's really gonna hit the fan.

Proudest day EVER!!!

What a day!!
From my friends at Everything Is Terrible! comes the biggest honor ever!!

Please continue to support and donate to the Jerry Fund.

DESTINATION A GO-GO! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

Givin' it all for Jesus II

Sometimes the greatest gift you can give is yourself....
That goes for BOTH of you.

Little Marcy Tigner!

Well It's Better Than Sleeping On The Couch

a divorcee has to hang his hat somewhere.

Saturday Morning Mormonism?

So there was a lot of Mormonism stuff on Nat Geo this week.
And I wondered if Saturday mornings were different in Utah.

Kickin' it old skool

Because the byproduct of bad is always worse.

BAD



WORSE

Vagina Slang. PT 1

"Whisker Biscuit"
as used in this 1983 classic.

Some things never change......Ever!

Yor's and Mine...

Because we didn't have enough money for QUEEN.

Ken Nordine 101

Who wants to go to the weenie roast?

L.A.R.P. and DIE!!!!

So Tom Hanks goes nuts LARP'ing!!



Even 60 Minutes tried to warn us...

Why put off till Toomorrow......

So Olivia Newton John fronts a band named "Toomorrow" and saves a dying alien race.
More groovyness than a 70's Scooby Doo chase scene.

Givin' it all for Jesus

Attack of the B-Movie "Montage" lyrics

Deep in my heart there's a vengeance.
The fury still burns in my mind.
The only way out of this nightmare,
Is layin' my life on the line.
Just like I'm back in the jungle,
where only the strong can survive.
Don't try to break the will of a man,
but the laws in my hand and I'll get out alive.

Fighting fire with fire,
with the force of thunder and steel.
When it's down to the wire,
strike a blow and go for the kill.
Cause there aint no easy way out when the flames get higher
We can ascend, feeling the heat, fighting fire with fire.

Out of the shadows of darkness,
straight from the fires of hell.
No longer an angel of mercy.
My soul to the devil I sell.
Staring in the eyes of danger,
fighting alone in the street.
Just like a hurricane out of control,
I'm not gonna stop, I'll never retreat.

Fighting fire with fire,
with the force of thunder and steel.
When it's down to the wire,
strike a blow and go for the kill.
Cause there aint no easy way out when the flames get higher
We can ascend, feeling the heat, fighting fire with fire.
Fire with fire

Time to get back in action....

A little life affirmation from my mall.